Episode 9 - How do you deal with your anger?

'Trigger Warning' if you or someone you know has been affected by sexual abuse please remember the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre 24-Hour Helpline 1800 77 8888

*This podcast contains strong language

In this week’s podcast we will be discussing anger and how we each experienced and lived with our own anger.

Anger is often seen as a negative emotion, but it can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express your negative feelings.  Unfortunately for most victims of childhood sexual abuse we tend to either suppress our anger or express it inappropriately.

We grew up in a home that anger was expressed very destructively. Our fathers could explode at any time and over the smallest of things. His temper was so unpredictable, he was verbally abusive and physically threatening. We constantly felt like we were walking on eggshells in the house. We never knew what he would flare up over or where his anger would be directed and so we all seen anger as negative and unhealthy.

We also seen the exact opposite in our mother who totally suppressed all her emotions, and so we never seen a healthy expression of emotions in our home.

We have found that suppressing anger and rage was just as damaging because in order to suppress anger we had to suppress other emotions, it wasn’t possible to pick and choose which emotions we would allow ourselves to feel.

However, over time and after a lot of reflection and discussions we have learned what healthy anger looks and feels like, we no longer fear anger. We understand the role anger played in shielding us from hurt or pain and can now recognise what triggers our anger and a healthy way of expressing how we feel when something happens to upset us.

We hope that sharing our experience will help you understand the importance of examining your thoughts around anger. It is important to be kind to yourself and acknowledge your anger, either expressed or suppressed, has helped you to survive.

Please share and spread the word……

Take care

Joyce, June and Paula